Polar Bears and Canadians
by Burning Ice Phoenix
Summary: A trip to the zoo should never be this problematic. But for Arthur and his family, it is.


Chirp chirp. Splash splash. _Roar_!

Arthur wasn't sure why he decided to agree on this trip with the family. Sure, he was spending a bit too much time at work, but weren't there alternatives? Maybe they can eat out together other than going to the zoo. But, noooo~ Francis and the kids wanted to go to the zoo. The sound of an elephant startled Arthur out of his thoughts. This. Is. Ridiculous. He'd much rather be sitting in his office right now! Frowning, he wanted to just gather them up and go home. Where were they right now? He looked up at the signs perched near a couple of trees next to a bench. _The Arctic_. Oh how original. Arctic animals. Looking over for his husband, he spotted him with their son Alfred looking at the whales.

"Francis!" He called as he walked over to them. Francis had knelt down to Alfred's height and was holding him from behind, making the child wave at the whale swimming by. Alfred grinned and giggled, running out of Francis's arms and up to the glass, tapping at it and squealing each time the whale passed by. "Let's go already! I don't want to stay here any longer!"

"But, mom ami! Its your only day off! Let's stay longer!" Francis pleaded with a pout. "Please...?" He said in a seductive voice as he pulled Arthur closer.

Francis had successfully turned Arthur's face and ears bright red as Arthur shoved him away. "No, you git! I won't stay here for another bloody second! C'mon Alfred! Let's go! Stop playing- Alfred! Get back here!" Arthur screamed as he ran over to pull his son off the railing. "Don't climb over the railing! You want to get eaten by the whales?"

"B...But Daddy! The whale said he was going to give me a ride!"

"Relax, Arthur." Francis said with a chuckle. "Alfred has become good friends with the whale." Arthur was about to say something in retaliation when Francis wrapped his arm around Arthur's shoulders. "Let's just get back to the car and go home, alright?"

* * *

Francis drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He couldn't shake off the feeling that he was forgetting something. Was there something he had to do today? No, he paid the gas bill... In the backseat, Alfred giggled as he stared out the window. "We're almost home! I see the tree house for me and Mattie!"

Francis suddenly hit the brakes. "MATTIE!" He yelled out frantically as he turned to look at Arthur who was giving him a confused look. "We left Mattie at the zoo!"

Arthur stared at him in confusion for a good five minutes, running through a list of names in his head, trying to find 'Mattie'. _No, it isn't one of my clients... Extended family? I'm not too aware of all the members of Francis's family...No wait, left at the zoo-_ "SHIT! HURRY! DRIVE BACK!" He screamed at Francis. "How could you've possibly forgotten your own son?"

Francis turned the wheel and slammed his foot on the pedals, racing back to the zoo. "Oh, bye bye, tree house!" Alfred said as he waved goodbye to the scenery outside the house.

* * *

"Romulus, I understand that you wanted me to drive you and the kids here, but- HEY! Gilbert!" The blonde yelled in shock as his elder son ran off into the zoo. "Shit, watch Ludwig, would you?"

Romulus sighed. "He just doesn't understand that kids need to get out there and run, does he?" He said to Ludwig who was staring (glaring) at his younger son, Feliciano. _How cute~_

Gilbert stared at the polar bears. Was no one else seeing this? He knew his eyesight was awesome, but he was sure that someone would be able to spot the kid climbing over the ice in a red hoodie. The blonde boy was probably just a couple years younger, about his brother's age.

Matthew steadily climbed to the top of the ice cube. He was like the king of the world! He giggled. The mother polar bear below him made a sound. "Don't worry, I'll be careful, Mama bear!" The polar bear sat down next the pillar of ice with an unhappy expression. Matthew pouted. "Alright, I'll come down." Matthew slowly and steadily climbed down to join the mother bear and her three cubs. "We're going to learn to swim? Ok! And catch fish? Sure!"

Gilbert watched as the boy conversed with the bears and then jump into the water with them. _Isn't it cold?_

"Gilbert!" His father had caught up with him. "Didn't I tell you before not to run of like that! Don't you know how big this place is? What if you got lost?"

"Daddy! Daddy!" Gilbert desperately pointed at the boy in the water. "There's a boy-"

"Gilbert, we're leaving now!" He said as he dragged his son away from the polar bears.

* * *

"Our son! Our son is lost in here somewhere!" Arthur screamed at the guard. The poor guard had expected to help find a lost child, he did not expected to be badgered this way. "Hurry and find him already! Don't just stand here!" He yelled as he shook the guard back and forth.

"Arthur! This isn't going to help in anyway!" Francis said, trying to pry Arthur away from the guy. Meanwhile, Alfred had lost interest and was instead staring at something else. Those lions' manes sure looked fluffy... Could he maybe take a nap on them?

Glancing back, Arthur and Francis were still busy with the guard. Alfred looked up at the top of the cage. It wasn't that high. He looked down at his sneakers before kicking them off and tying the laces together. Swinging the shoes over his shoulders, he started climbing up the barb wire fence. "One step at a time! Pretty soon you'll get to the fluffy pillows!" He told himself. He was lucky that no one was around to see him. He quickly made it to the other side. "Hi Mr. Lio-"

* * *

"Where was the last place you saw him?" Arthur asked Francis frantically.

"Um..." Francis narrowed his eyes, doing the best he can to remember where. "Er... He was still with me when we went to see the zebras..."

"That's when we first got here!"

"...The fish?"

".. The polar bears!" Arthur realized as he took off in the direction of the The Arctic. It was a far run to that end of the zoo, but Arthur must've beat whatever record there's ever been. "Mattie? Mattie! Where are you?" He yelled, pushing in between the crowds, trying to find his son.

"A-Arthur..." Francis said, grabbing onto Arthur's arm, trying to catch his attention as he kept his eyes trained on a figure with the bears.

"What is it, Francis? Do you see Mattie?"

"...Oui."

"Where?" Arthur demanded, whipping his head around to look for the child. "Where is he?"

"There." Francis said, pointing into the bear's cave.

Arthur stared with mouth wide opened as he saw his son wrestle with the other bear cubs. "MATTIE!" He screamed.

* * *

"We are never, ever, ever going to the zoo again." Arthur hissed as he dried Matthew's hair. They were sitting in the zoo's first aid room. After they had rescued Matthew, Arthur had made a giant complaint to the guards before bringing him here.

"Whaaat?" Matthew whined. "B-But the Polar bears... Mama polar bear was so nice..."

But of course, neither parent heard him. "This was all your fault Francis, for suggesting this trip!"

"You hadn't even thought of him until I pointed it out!" Francis argued back.

"So? You're the cause of all this!" Arthur finished drying Matthew's hair and put the towel on the bench. "Now let's go home for real- Where's Alfred?"

* * *

"Oh my God... Wow, I'm taking a picture of this." Romulus said as he took out his camera and snapped a picture. It was usually reserved for his two sons and when Adalbert was showing an emotion other than blank stoicness, like now. "I can't believe that boy is wrestling with lions and winning!" _Snap_! That was a nice picture.

"Daddy, I want to go and play too!" Gilbert whined as he pulled at Adalbert's pants.

Adalbert finally snapped out of it. "What? No! Someone call the guards! Quickly!"

When Arthur and Francis arrived at the scene at being informed that there was a boy named Alfred waiting for them by the lion's cage, they were frantic and started screaming out at anyone for their kid.

"Hey, you're the boy in the polar bears' cage." Gilbert said to Matthew. "...Huh? No fair! I want to play with the animals too!" He pouted and suddenly wished that he was part of their family instead.

"I can't believe this! Alfred, what were you thinking? Playing with lions? Bloody hell, did I do something wrong while raising you two?"

* * *

After that ordeal, Arthur was determined never to go to the zoo again. So the next vacation was a camping trip. Arthur wasn't all that pleased to be sleeping in a tent surrounded by hordes of mosquitoes, but this time he had placed GPS's on both of the kids before going. Not to mention they were slightly older and would have much more common sense. However, he was finding it odd that the two of them, being city kids their whole life, to like the wild so much.

Arthur had just finished pitching up the tent and went to the riverbank to call the twins up for dinner when he saw just what they've been up to.

Matthew sat in the middle of the river with a fish in his mouth. "Oh, pssssh!" Alfred said, waving his hand in Matthew's face as if dismissing his feat. "I can do much better! Look, the eagles next to the lions taught me this back them." Alfred climbed to the top of a rock and waited for a few moments until a fish was jumping out from the water. Alfred then jumped off and swooped in like an eagle, catching the fish in his mouth. Grinning, he dropped the fish to speak. "See, so much cooler!"

Matthew shook his head. He dunked his head into the river bank, returned with a fish, threw it in the air, and caught it in his mouth again. Releasing the fish, "Nu-uh! That was cooler!"

"F-FRAAAAANCIS!" Arthur yelled.

* * *

**De-Anon from the Kink Meme.**

**Originally untitled with 3 parts.**


End file.
